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DEAD FRIGHT
EI INDEPENDENT, CINEMAVIDEO, 96 minutes.
aka: LA GABBIA, THE CAGE, COLLECTOR'S ITEM
Italy 1985
Colour/FullScreen
Starring: Tony Musante, Laura Antonelli, Florinda Bolkan.
Director: Giuseppi Patroni Griffi.
DEAD FRIGHT is better than most of the product excreted by this company; written by the late lamented Lucio Fulci and starring Musante (L'UCCELLO DALLE PIUME DI CRISTALLO / THE GALLERY MURDERS) and Florinda Bolkan (FLAVIA: PRIESTESS OF VIOLENCE / THE REBEL NUN) it at least has people involved with it that I have actually heard of. So a step up from EI INDEPENDENT CINEMA's usual bottom of the barrel product, that's not to say it much good, it isn't but it I suppose a (small) move in the right direction. Basically DEAD FRIGHT is a mediocre 1985 Italian rip off of FATAL ATTRACTION and MISERY with elements of D'Amato's EMANUELLE & FRANCOIS and writer Fulci's own IL MIELE DEL DIAVOLO / THE DEVIL'S HONEY (made the year following) for which the scrip may well have served as a dry run. Musante is a philandering businessman abandoned for the Christmas period by girlfriend Bolkan who must take her child to stay with her mother over the festive season. In true cat's away tradition, a chance encounter with old flame Antonelli with whom he had enjoyed a torrid, possibly sadomasochistic relationship 15-years earlier leads to a one-night stand. However, things soon turn for the worse, when the following morning, the clearly disturbed Antonelli refuses to allow him to leave, tying him to the bed in sexual fashion. As the film develops, it becomes a psychological cat and mouse exercise as Antonelli and disturbed daughter keep Musante imprisoned within the plush apartment they share and for his part Musante try's frantically to plot and affect escape. There is as always a rather predictable twist as well as a disappointingly inconclusive finish. This is a mediocre picture, clearly inferior to the movies from which it steals so shamelessly, the dubbing is inept, the acting, writing and direction unremarkable. A word too about the presentation; EI's screener cassette is terrible, the visual quality is mediocre at best with evidence of colour bleed and a general quality best defined as murkiness omnipresent, whilst the aural presentation is disgraceful; claiming to be Hi-Fi Stereo, but the only surround elements this reviewer detected were the all-encompassing hiss. Definitely not worth the effort taken to sit on the couch and watch.
Peter Lynch
CANVAS OF BLOOD
SHOCKORAMA PICTURES, 81 min.
USA 1999,
Colour/Full screen,
Starring: Jack McClernan, Lance Irwin, Michael Mann.
Director: Joel Denning.
Surprisingly, this little no budget nothing comes to us, not courtesy of the dreaded EI INDEPENDENT CINEMA, but of one 'SHOCKORAMA PICTURES'; hmmm looks like the usual bottom of the barrel product, only by a different name. Actually, that is probably a tad harsh, there's a kernel of a good enough idea here, but the execution is terrible. In essence an amateur rip off of that interesting 1977 John Flynn directed film ROLLING THUNDER. Scripted by Paul Schraeder, Flynn's film starred William Devane as a Vietnam Veteran seeking vengeance on some crooks who forced his hand into a garbage disposal unit. Here, we have a few window dressing elements (the deranged Viet Vet is seeking recompense for damage done to a daughter and a cover-up perpetrated by corrupt officials) but the basic linear concept is the same. There are ideas here better realised in a host of professional films from THE EXTERMINATOR to APOCALYSSE DOMIANI. Less amateurishly realised this could've been a relatively interesting tale with some pointed observations on society as a whole, but the entire enterprise is let-down by atrociously phoney efx, inept acting and poor direction. The only positive aspect is a half-decent script by contributors McClernan and Denning. This is a mundane, amateurish picture, clearly inferior to the movies from which it steals. A word too about the presentation; 'SHOCKORAMA PICTURES' screener cassette is terrible, the visual quality is mediocre at best with a lack of visual clarity and poor background detail, whilst the aural presentation is disgraceful; plagued by an all-encompassing hiss and dialogue being near impossible to follow for periods of time, plus the movie's overpoweringly terrible instrumental musical score is sceamingly intrusive. Not a good experience, this and as for the credited producer 'Michael Mann', one can only hope this is not the same Michael Mann who directed RED DRAGON / MANHUNTER, HEAT etc…I can't possibly see how it could be.
Peter Lynch
LAUGHING DEAD
INDEPENDENT CINEMAVIDEO
USA 1999, 83 min.
Starring: Patrick Gleason, John Hammond, Fern Finer,
Nancy Rhee, Rico Cymone, Robert Mack.
Color/Widesreen
Unrated
Director: Patrick Gleason.
Alongside some of the real no budget garbage served up by this fast becoming a name to send chills down the spine distribution company EI INDEPENDENT CINEMAVIDEO (now theres a misnomer, a company calling itself ….cinema when the bile it spews forth barely creeps out direct to video), LAUGHING DEAD isn’t all that bad, but measured against any other yardstick (remotely decent films, even low budget ones) it is absolutely dire.
In recent times, those behind THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT have served to illustrate that there is at least some talent lurking down there in the realms of low budget cinema. Since the halcyon days when the likes of Cronenberg, Romero, Carpenter, Raimi et al were breaking through, it has all been swiftly downhill with a plethora of fifth rate idiots with videocameras fostering turgid half baked tripe upon us and destroying our faith in the low budget movie industry to ever produce another icon of the genre, even in Italy, there are no Argento’s coming through with the disappearance of Lamberto Bava and his descent into TV and where has Soavi vanished to?
LAUGHING DEAD is a witless post-apocalyptic turkey featuring zombies and vampires of a sort in a clueless and shameless rip-off of the far better THE OMEGA MAN/LAST MAN ON EARTH, SOYLENT GREEN and a multitude of other films of a similar ilk. It opens in confused and disjointed manner and never gets any better. It is boring, turgid and devoid of wit, inspiration and anything vaguely resembling thrills. There is drug use, violence, time travel and a jive talking black guy somewhere in the mish mash as are the vampires and some junkies, yet none of these ingredients prove the slightest bit interesting, so poorly constructed and made is LAUGHING DEAD. The acting falls below the level of hardcore porn, the script is a mess and the direction is bland and uninvolving. Tech credits are poor. The screener tape is sourced from a poor print with overly dark visuals and low-grade sound. Artifacting is present throughout.
Peter Lynch
TENDER FLESH
aka: BOCCATO DI CARDINALE
INDEPENDENT CINEMAVIDEO
USA 1997, 80 min.
Starring: Monique Parent, Lina Romay, Amber Newman, Alain Petit, Analia Ivars, Mikel Kronen.
Color/Widesreen
Unrated
Director: Jess Franco
From the opening sequence of a stripper being coached by an ugly French woman, replete with those relentless crotch area zooms, we know we are back in the pathetic world of Jess Franco, the notoriously inept Spanish pervert who has been masquerading as a film-maker for more years than I care to remember.
TENDER FLESH is supposedly an update of the classic THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME, but save 15 minutes near the end, it is largely taken up with tedious softcore lesbian fumblings and incompetently written dialogue matched by appallingly staged scenes in one of the most dismal pictures I have sat through in quite a while, save the real no budget garbage served up by this quickly becoming a name to avoid like the plague distribution company. What there is of story has a pretty desperate group of people decamp to some vaguely tropical island where some urination and urine drinking, plus a bit of whipping are thrown into to a turgid plot, before one of their number is drugged and later turned loose to be hunted and killed by other members of this nouveau-rich group of miserable miscreants.
One vaguely amusing aside (a character sporting a Fangoria T-shirt), TENDER FLESH is absolutely unwatchable. Franco, who numbers amongst the very worst directors working with anything remotely like a budget these days cannot direct a six year olds’ seaside outing, the excuse that passes for acting is execrable and the anorexic excuse of a screenplay wouldn’t cover a third of a postage stamp. Avoid at all costs !!
Peter Lynch
CREATUREALM: DEMONS WAKE
USA, 1998, 75 minutes
BRIMSTONE PRODUCTIONS VIDEO (USA)
Starring: Paul Locklear, Michelle Fitzgerald, Celeste Cherami, David Rains
Color/FullScreen.
Certificate: “UNRATED” (USA)
Director: Tim Thomson & Michael Legge.
Mixed low budget indie two parter. The first of the two: DEMONS WAKE is by far the superior. An entry from so far out of left field, Fidel Castro would be jealous DEMONS WAKE is a clever, very black comedy. Opening with the legend; Possession: is nine tenths of the law, it gives us a lawyer who finds himself saddled with two concurrent cases, which overlap. A Mansonish religious cult leader accused of a string of haenous crimes and a seemingly devoted young wife accused of the shocking cannibalistic ritual killing of her successful husband. As if to add insult to injury, he also finds himself pestered by a mystic who doubles up as a ‘supermarket tabloid’ journalist. A little bit of digging around and some talky exposition and we find ourselves in the trial courtroom whereupon DEMONS WAKE becomes a courtroom drama with a difference. By now convinced of the mystic’s powers, he calls him to testify and badgered by the prosecutor, he conjures up a minor spirit, followed by a fat voodoo priestess of his acquaintance who summons the victim back to life and the bemused courtroom is treated to the reanimated corpse of the victim giving testimony at his own murderers trial. Gets better!, seems that victim was in league with a demon, who’s avatar (assistant) possessed his wife and had her kill him as an example to others. Not to be beaten, the lawyer now calls the religious lunatic to the court to summon the avatar and when he eventually does so, people die, the prosecution drops the charges and the audience laughs hysterically whilst scratching their heads in baffled puzzlement at the outrageousness of it all. DEMONS WAKE is a wonderful idea, let down by minimal production values (the courtroom has no jury box-they are all sat on chairs like a woman’s institute meeting in someone’s front room), poor acting and mediocre special effect. The flashback murder is exceedingly graphic and out of step with the tone of the tale as a whole to boot. Even so, it is highly amusing, both intentionally and unintentionally and extremely clever in its concept if not its execution. A courtroom murder trial with the deceased and demons as witnesses would make one helluva John Grisham tale!. The second short is a best-ignored tale entitled: ‘Dryer Straits’ and is a ridiculous and dreadful piece about an obnoxious old woman attacked by a soap sud monster that emerges from her washer/dryer. Different.
Peter Lynch
THE GOOD BOOK
THE GOOD BOOK is a futuristic story of computer repairman, Joseph Cyrus (Brian Campbell). It seems in the future of the world has gone mad with technology. The governments of the world have united for total control. They have forced the citizens of the world to stay indoors and live solely off the Internet. If you refuse, then face the consequences of the now depleted ozone layers. Those who went inside now live solitary lives, their only contact is the Internet. Those who went outside have begun to melt and de-evolve. They are dangerous mutants. Through this world, Joseph must travel to peoples houses to repair their computers. On a routine mission, Joseph meets a strange being - excellent performed by Barry Gerdsen - who claims to be God, and it seems God is angry ! God wants Joseph to help him destroy the Internet. Joseph must now figure out the identity of this mysterious being, all the while battling the demons from his past and the demons who are now beginning to swirl around him. Well, sounds strange…and it is ! This weird story from Drop Dead Films is one of the better amateur-movies ! It contains a great deal of humour and the actors seems to have done this before…?! The movie is shot on weekends in New York City, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Long Island. And it is very well done. Good picture quality, very good editing, the sound could be better every now and then, but what the heck !? Sometimes the camera angels when filming scenes with dialogue could be better shot. Remember the golden rule: always space in direction of looking. It is a bit annoying, when the person talking is looking right into the wall next to the TV !! The music is very, very atmospheric and give a great intense feeling to the dark pictures, the sound effects are cool and very prof. And it is quite amusing to hear some of the actors´ smart-ass-dialogues ! Also the make-up-effects are worth mentioning – great job !! Barry Gerdsen delivers a great job in his performance as God….he is cruel, evil, mysterious, cool and does a perfect job !!!! Well, I am not the one to reveal the ending of this flick….Order it right now at:
www.dropdeadfilms.com and you better hurry up….before God destroys the Internet for good !!!!!
Kristian P. Mølgaard
SHATTER DEAD
In true Ripley-style the young girl/woman in this zombie film knows how to handle difficult situations. The world is possessed by the living dead - it is all a new beginning for mankind. As the Preacher Man says: "Something beautiful is going to happen!" - he claims that God is testing humanity. However, the zombies aren't like the ones in the ordinary zombie movies. In "Shatter Dead" they know that they're dead and they think and act like everybody else - if that isn't something new?! Our young hero has a difficult time with the undead - she even takes a shower with one of the girl-zombies (and what a zombie, I tell you!) But she evidently knows what to do... The strange thing about these undead is, that they don't die from a shot in the head as we know it to be from other movies. No, they "live" because of their soul - not their brains... Interesting and new! "Shatter Dead" hasn't got that much action and gore, but some really well-thought-of dialogues that make you think about life - and death! The visual effects are tolerable but sometimes the sound effects are completely exaggerated and every now and then missing! The movie is written and directed by Scooter McCrae who did a well-turned story. He knows what he wants, that is clear to see. "Shatter Dead" is shot on video and is a very different zombie movie. Why don't you go and get it?
Kristian P. Mølgaard
DARKNESS
From the point of view that this is meant as an "amateur movie", "Darkness" is amazing!! Great special effects, a good cast, very professionally done, superb camera angles and ideas, and music that gives you a feeling you don't get often when watching this type of very-low-budget movies. Amateur movies aren't really my area, but ask me if I enjoyed this one? I did! From the very beginning director Leif Jonker proves that he's got talent, no doubt. His sense for dark atmosphere and gory scenes is just excellent. The musical inspiration evidently comes from John Carpenter movies like "The Thing", "The Fog" and "Halloween", but hey, it works!! The story: When a nomadic vampire lays waste to a small town, Tobe, the only survivor of the massacre, arms himself with a shotgun, a machete and holy water in his quest to hunt down the vampire king. The result is carnage-strewn war against the hordes of undead. I was highly surprised by this movie, which is filled with tension, convincing actors and great EFX. Independent Video Magazine wrote that "Darkness" is a mix between "Near Dark", "Night of the Living Dead" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". I'd like to add "Evil Dead" to that list! This is excellent!! Watch out for Leif Jonker's new epic "Demon Machine", out very soon from Manic Entertainment. Can it beat "Darkness"?
Kristian P. Mølgaard
THE SANDMAN
Imagine that you're trying to sleep, but can't get any rest. And if you have a pleasant dream, you will die! No, this time it's not Freddy, it's the Sandman!! Gary (A.J. Richards) is a young writer whose neighbourhood is terrorized by some gruesome murders - all victims died in their sleep. And Gary is soon to find out who the killer is. Yes, the Sandman, who visits you in the night, while you're asleep, exchanging good dreams for your soul. But who will believe this mad story from Gary? The Sandman is directed by J.R. Bookwalter, who also did "Ozone", "The Dead Next Door" and more. "Sandman" is his 14th movie. And this one has it all; a creepy music score (again you can hear some John Carpenter inspiration), great ideas, good acting, tons of humour and last, but certainly not least, some really well done special effects!! In spite of the fact that the Sandman's setting is in a neighbourhood, it is not getting boring at all. See this flick and enter into the world of the Sandman... Yes, I now believe in the Sandman!!
By the way: cool cover!!
Kristian P. Mølgaard
SCARY TALES
After eight years of so-called forgotten friendship, the two Baltimore guys Doug Ulrich and Al· Darango bumped into each other, and radically decided to start making films together.They formed Nobudget Productions in late 1991 and have since then been busy finishing their productions. "Scary Tales" was their first full length movie. "Scary Tales" consists of three stories, which in the beginning are introduced by a scary story teller.The first one is "Satan's Necklace", a movie about an ordinary person, who one day finds a necklace with his metal-detector. The necklace holds a power, which you probably don't wanna have in your own home.The rest speaks for itself.The other two segments are "Sliced In Cold Blood" and "Level 21". "Level 21" is about a computer freak who is playing a certain game, but never reaches the final level, until one day, where he succeeds, and the story can begin. All three stories are connected by the story teller introducing each movie, just like in "Tales From The Crypt" or "Creepshow".The production of this entire full length product ended up costing $ 2000. Nobudget Productions hasreleased a 10 minute short movie titled "Goodbye",a movie that also could be called the complete suicide manual. If you're tired of your life then check this out for inspiration. Since "ScaryTales" is the first full length movie from the duo, don't expect anything extraordinary.They are still in the pot boiling and while you read this they will probably have finished their new full length prgduction "Grave Diggers", and maybe also a 20 minute werewolf thriller. I have seen a trailer to "Grave Diggers", and that certainly looked promising. More from Nobudget Productions later.
ADDICTED TO MURDER
This is the sort of movie when you start watching it you can't stop.The story and information are so compact that if you miss one minute (out of 90 minutes in this case) you risk to miss thc whole movie. In "Addicted To Murder" you can find eiements from everywhere;lt's a total mix of "Vamp","Tetsuo", "Henry" alld "Natural Born Killers" It's about a guy called Joel Winter played by Mick Mcleary. During his childhood he's experienced some strange and unpleasant traumatic moments. Sounds quite ordinary doesn't it? He's the real lonesome an mamas boy type of guy. Eventhough one woman is very much attached to Joel, and besides that he even have a wife. A bloodsucking woman called Angie have a big role in Joel's life. She has followed him from his early years and in some mysterious ways she manages to twist Joel into a horrible murderer, the New York mangler who killed 43 persons. This movie have a lot of subjective camaeraangles which are very well done and actually the the entire camarawork is great. Experts in the topic serial killers get interviewed in the movie and when they are interviews the viewer sees parts of here and there in the movie. Also there's flashback parts which are in B/W, these parts works out really fine. Maybe we also have a new future scream queen here, watch out for that Angie woman, she's really good. The acting is overall very stiff but it's nothing which destroys the movie. The story is very intense and difficult to explain, but I suggest you see it. It's a unusual and special movie done Kevin J. Hindenmuth. He have produced, edited and written "Addicted To Murder" and has done a good job. Get this picture now, it's a good movie and a no/low budget movie can't become much better than this.
FREAKSHOW
Crimson Productions are back to deliver their second full lengt production, Freakshow. If you remember in Trauma #2, 1 said the that they can be important in the future. Freakshow is at a higher level compared with the earlier Campfire Tales. Using the old theme works well. Once again, Gunnar Leatherface Hansen, is back t tell you some new horrifying stories. Segmented flicks seem to suite Paul and William very well. First out is a story called Fetus. Ron i a selfish egotist who's managed to get his date pregnant which i too much for him. He decides to leave her and pay for the abortior but a problem comes his way when he's about to hand over the money. He meets her sister ... Midnight Snack is the second stor about a young adopted kid, Danny. His new parents are two farmers. They're holding onto a morbid secret, which little Danny soon i going to be a part of ... The Uninvited Guest Grace Harmsworth, played by the Hammer cult actress Veronica Carlson, is having a halloween party. Dr. Xavani is one of the guests who's brought his own harmless looking secret surprise. Later on. this will be the reason for an 'atmospheric` change in the party ... Next up is Unspeakable. A mutated freak has come by a ritualistic book that can transfer his soul into another fresh and healthy body. He's sitting in his loneliness, desperately trying to get hold of a victim for a trade. The fifth and last story is a surprise and has a very unexpected end along with some cool FX. Freakshow has a steady line through all the segments. Not the one is connected to the others. They're all good straight through as are the FIX, although maybe a bit dry from time to time? Also, the experience among the actors is maybe too weak. It runs approx. 101 min. and is a recommendation. Get it from Crimson Productions. 409 'South Edisto Ave. Columbia, SC 29205. USA
All reviews by Peter Lynch, Kristian Mølgaard & Abbe Avramovic
